Building your Community after the Honeymoon


As some readers may know, I recently got married. We are definitely still in the

honeymoon phase. It has been lovely. And we know it will change and that the real work starts then. This is similar to returning to a familiar environment. You have the thrill of return – of accessing things you missed. Ironically, we rarely think about the hard work in our return starting after this.


For subscribers to Nextpat, you’ve received our “Stages of Repatriation” one-pager. You may also have seen the rollercoaster ride that is re-entry in our Preparing Kids for School article (back when that wasn’t done at home – though in our prescience much of what we talk about remains applicable today!)




I go into what is going on here in our Stages of Repatriation, so subscribe to the site for that, but today I’d like to discuss this second curve, why it happens and how we can use it to build a better way forward. See Stage 5 – Honeymoon and thrillingly Stage 6 – Crisis (or also Reality Check). Then you see Stage 7 – Adjustment, or laying the groundwork for the rest of your journey. As you can see from the graphic, it’s a much steeper “crisis” the second go-round. The adjustment is also longer. What’s going on here?


In a word, the second curve is about community. When we return home, we’re excited to share our journey and reconnect with old friends and family. No doubt, they are too. The first few weeks or months you probably have a very full social calendar with lunches, coffees, dinners, and playdates. As you reconnect you may go through the first “U” in the rollercoaster, but you’ve got a solid support system and a vision of what returning home will look like based on these early welcomes.