Returning Home to Reconnect

This is the second article in our series on Motivators for Coming Home


When you return “home” to find a partner from a similar cultural background, family, friends, and colleagues might view that decision harshly. International organizations often see mission above people; friends may wonder about your priorities too. Returning to find a partner can be viewed harshly, unlike returning for other needs, such as taking care of family that you already have. Returning home for “husband-hunting tour” or “wife-hunting tour” can result in the manifestation of stereotypes. While some are enumerated below, it can go much deeper. Some people have probably been told they haven’t tried to find someone hard enough. They have been too focused on work. The accusations run the gamut. If you’ve faced it or are currently going through it, reach out – I’d love to profile your journey!


First and foremost, for those who have chosen to return based on a self-assessed need to find a partner – well done! It takes courage to prioritize your needs when others don’t see them the same way. Brene Brown in her book “The Gifts of Imperfection” talks about courage coming from cor, the Latin for heart. She notes that it was once defined as “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” I like to see it as leading with one’s heart and prioritizing your heart’s needs and vulnerabilities. Choosing to identify and fulfill your need for a partner is therefore listening to your heard and letting it lead – it’s courageous.